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Sep. 11th, 2016 11:39 pmI've been kind of quiet lately and I haven't posted in three weeks. Sorry about that, but I've kind of been overloaded with stuff. Good stuff and bad stuff:
● The life odometer has rolled over to the next number and now reads 40.0. Funny how our culture seems so hell-bent on clinging to youth, selling us chin lifts and hair dye and facial fillers and whatever. I'm not 20 years old anymore, I don't feel it anymore, and I see no reason to pretend to be something I'm not. I'm finding more and more gray hairs in my hair and beard, and my face and body are a little fuller than they once were. And you know what? People still find me interesting and still want me around. So I'll just keep on doing what I've been doing, trying to keep myself healthy but not getting bogged down with little stuff.
● I was just at my cousin's wedding yesterday. I don't know how they found this chapel... The building and grounds are absolutely beautiful, on a mountain with a clear view of the New York City skyline, and then once inside, the place was finished so modestly. Ordinary ceramic tile floors, plain painted walls, cheap suspended ceiling with cheap plastic-lens fluorescent light fixtures. The carpet they rolled out was this flimsy fabric thing that people kept slipping on. Neither the organist nor the violinist were particularly accomplished players, and they didn't seem to be able to keep in tune or in time with each other. And the microphone on the violin kept cutting in and out.
Then again, judging by the amount of alcohol that was served at the reception, my guess is that most of the guests won't be remembering much of the event anyway. So maybe it didn't matter? And the wedding reception was absolutely phenomenal.
● Off the gabapentin. I was given topiramate and amitriptyline to see which works better for the headaches. Except that I was supposed to take one for two weeks and the other for two weeks, and he didn't give me a strong enough dose of either, so I've been taking the topiramate in the morning and the amitriptyline in the evening.
Holy hell, is amitriptyline sedating. I've forgotten how bad the TCA drugs are. This is not going to be a good option. Topiramate has this wonky side effect where you can't remember words while you're talking, but it isn't as thoroughly stupefying as gabapentin was. So far it seems to be the most tolerable of the drugs I've taken for headaches.
● I am out of work AGAIN. Officially, the company was out of work, but I'm really suspicious it was the gabapentin that did me in.
Seriously, I don't even know if I still want to do this for a living. I've been averaging a new job a year for the past five years. I can't keep doing this.
● My brother talked me into visiting him in LA again, and my parents said they'd pay for a plane ticket. So I will be on the west coast for a few days in the upcoming weeks. We talked about driving east into the desert this time, maybe seeing Joshua Tree National Park and the surrounding area.
● Mental note: Don't crush a durian.
● The life odometer has rolled over to the next number and now reads 40.0. Funny how our culture seems so hell-bent on clinging to youth, selling us chin lifts and hair dye and facial fillers and whatever. I'm not 20 years old anymore, I don't feel it anymore, and I see no reason to pretend to be something I'm not. I'm finding more and more gray hairs in my hair and beard, and my face and body are a little fuller than they once were. And you know what? People still find me interesting and still want me around. So I'll just keep on doing what I've been doing, trying to keep myself healthy but not getting bogged down with little stuff.
● I was just at my cousin's wedding yesterday. I don't know how they found this chapel... The building and grounds are absolutely beautiful, on a mountain with a clear view of the New York City skyline, and then once inside, the place was finished so modestly. Ordinary ceramic tile floors, plain painted walls, cheap suspended ceiling with cheap plastic-lens fluorescent light fixtures. The carpet they rolled out was this flimsy fabric thing that people kept slipping on. Neither the organist nor the violinist were particularly accomplished players, and they didn't seem to be able to keep in tune or in time with each other. And the microphone on the violin kept cutting in and out.
Then again, judging by the amount of alcohol that was served at the reception, my guess is that most of the guests won't be remembering much of the event anyway. So maybe it didn't matter? And the wedding reception was absolutely phenomenal.
● Off the gabapentin. I was given topiramate and amitriptyline to see which works better for the headaches. Except that I was supposed to take one for two weeks and the other for two weeks, and he didn't give me a strong enough dose of either, so I've been taking the topiramate in the morning and the amitriptyline in the evening.
Holy hell, is amitriptyline sedating. I've forgotten how bad the TCA drugs are. This is not going to be a good option. Topiramate has this wonky side effect where you can't remember words while you're talking, but it isn't as thoroughly stupefying as gabapentin was. So far it seems to be the most tolerable of the drugs I've taken for headaches.
● I am out of work AGAIN. Officially, the company was out of work, but I'm really suspicious it was the gabapentin that did me in.
Seriously, I don't even know if I still want to do this for a living. I've been averaging a new job a year for the past five years. I can't keep doing this.
● My brother talked me into visiting him in LA again, and my parents said they'd pay for a plane ticket. So I will be on the west coast for a few days in the upcoming weeks. We talked about driving east into the desert this time, maybe seeing Joshua Tree National Park and the surrounding area.
● Mental note: Don't crush a durian.
