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What the heck...
Apr. 8th, 2004 08:12 pm1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line 4.
*flipping, flipping, flipping, oh wait, I can't print that! Try another book. Flipping, flipping, flipping..... ah!*
Hmmm.... blank red page. (Intern Development Program Guidelines book 2002-2003.
2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What do you touch first?
*Reaching* My black Army field jacket, carelessly tossed on my ugly kitchen chair that my brother found in someone's garbage but he didn't know what to do with, so he gave it to me.
3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
I have an attention span of ten seconds, which is useless for TV-watching. Last I watched TV, I was at my parent's house last Saturday, neurotically clicking through channels. I hardly ever watch TV. I don't even have cable in my apartment, and I get shitty reception.
4. WITHOUT LOOKING, guess what time it is?
8:00 PM-ish.
5. Now look at the clock, what is the actual time?
8;19 PM
6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
Do the voices count? ... No wait, those are filtering through the ceiling from the TV of the guy upstairs.
7. When did you last step outside? what were you doing?
Last I was outside, I was on my way home from work, dragging my fat lazy American ass from my chair at work to my chair in my car to my chair at home.
8. Before you came to this website, what did you look at?
Checked e-mail.
9. What are you wearing?
Tighty whities, wife beater, dress shirt from work unbuttoned. (I bet you're glad you're only reading this and not seeing it)
10. Did you dream last night?
I probably did but I couldn't tell you what I dreamt.
11. When did you last laugh?
My job sent me to observe a construction site in an office park. I tried to go to a nearby building to take a whiz. The guard wouldn't let me in so I went deep into the nearby woods to relieve myself. Upon coming out I was greeted by two police officers and head of security for the office park that I was at. Oh well, my contact at the office park got a good chuckle at my expense.
12. What is on the walls of the room you're in?
Two fake old fashioned faucet handles on little wood plaques hanging on my wall, very charming and kitschy. Telephone cord going from connection on wall, across my wall, over my closet door, and to my DSL modem.
13. See anything weird lately?
I usually out-weird whatever's around me. It's a good thing people are amused by it, because otherwise, I'd be in deep doo-doo.
14. What do you think of this quiz?
Interesting. Allows readers to sample bits and pieces of my pathos.
15. What is the last film you saw?
Rocky Horror! Oh wait, a real movie...
"Jersey Girl." Stephen Root (Milton Wadamus from "Office Space") is in it, along with the usual Kevin Smith victims.
16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy first?
This is tough... I actually can't think of anything I'd want. I'm a simple man of simple means. That would probably change if someone waved a couple of mil under my nose, though.
17. Tell me something about you that I don't know:
I can't do that! Keeping things under wraps is what I thrive on and is part of what keeps me interesting. (or maybe I've just been deluding myself all these years...)
18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
Multi-part answer: The US Government would stop acting in the "best interests" of other nations, the UN would actually do its job of being a forum of world peace, and other nations will step up to their responsibility of defending peace. Just us doing it doesn't work.
19. Do you like to dance?
Naah. More of a singer. OK, I do admit to the occasional air guitar, when nobody's looking, of course. Do you really want to see a chubby out-of-shape guy in tighty whities and a wife beater and an open dress shirt air-guitaring to "Layla?" Of course not.
20. George Bush: is he a power-crazy nutcase or someone who is finally doing something that has needed to be done for years?
Power-crazy nutcase. Folks, when it comes time to pick your next president, the single person that people outside of this country think of when they think of our government, the man/woman with the power to set agenda, the man/woman who negotiates treaties with foreign heads of state, remember, you don't want some stupid monkey-faced power-mad lunatic in that position.
21(a). Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
Grazelda.
21(b). Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
Engelbert.
22. Would you ever consider living abroad?
Canada, definitely. I don't see myself fitting in in Europe.
*flipping, flipping, flipping, oh wait, I can't print that! Try another book. Flipping, flipping, flipping..... ah!*
Hmmm.... blank red page. (Intern Development Program Guidelines book 2002-2003.
2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What do you touch first?
*Reaching* My black Army field jacket, carelessly tossed on my ugly kitchen chair that my brother found in someone's garbage but he didn't know what to do with, so he gave it to me.
3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
I have an attention span of ten seconds, which is useless for TV-watching. Last I watched TV, I was at my parent's house last Saturday, neurotically clicking through channels. I hardly ever watch TV. I don't even have cable in my apartment, and I get shitty reception.
4. WITHOUT LOOKING, guess what time it is?
8:00 PM-ish.
5. Now look at the clock, what is the actual time?
8;19 PM
6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
Do the voices count? ... No wait, those are filtering through the ceiling from the TV of the guy upstairs.
7. When did you last step outside? what were you doing?
Last I was outside, I was on my way home from work, dragging my fat lazy American ass from my chair at work to my chair in my car to my chair at home.
8. Before you came to this website, what did you look at?
Checked e-mail.
9. What are you wearing?
Tighty whities, wife beater, dress shirt from work unbuttoned. (I bet you're glad you're only reading this and not seeing it)
10. Did you dream last night?
I probably did but I couldn't tell you what I dreamt.
11. When did you last laugh?
My job sent me to observe a construction site in an office park. I tried to go to a nearby building to take a whiz. The guard wouldn't let me in so I went deep into the nearby woods to relieve myself. Upon coming out I was greeted by two police officers and head of security for the office park that I was at. Oh well, my contact at the office park got a good chuckle at my expense.
12. What is on the walls of the room you're in?
Two fake old fashioned faucet handles on little wood plaques hanging on my wall, very charming and kitschy. Telephone cord going from connection on wall, across my wall, over my closet door, and to my DSL modem.
13. See anything weird lately?
I usually out-weird whatever's around me. It's a good thing people are amused by it, because otherwise, I'd be in deep doo-doo.
14. What do you think of this quiz?
Interesting. Allows readers to sample bits and pieces of my pathos.
15. What is the last film you saw?
Rocky Horror! Oh wait, a real movie...
"Jersey Girl." Stephen Root (Milton Wadamus from "Office Space") is in it, along with the usual Kevin Smith victims.
16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy first?
This is tough... I actually can't think of anything I'd want. I'm a simple man of simple means. That would probably change if someone waved a couple of mil under my nose, though.
17. Tell me something about you that I don't know:
I can't do that! Keeping things under wraps is what I thrive on and is part of what keeps me interesting. (or maybe I've just been deluding myself all these years...)
18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
Multi-part answer: The US Government would stop acting in the "best interests" of other nations, the UN would actually do its job of being a forum of world peace, and other nations will step up to their responsibility of defending peace. Just us doing it doesn't work.
19. Do you like to dance?
Naah. More of a singer. OK, I do admit to the occasional air guitar, when nobody's looking, of course. Do you really want to see a chubby out-of-shape guy in tighty whities and a wife beater and an open dress shirt air-guitaring to "Layla?" Of course not.
20. George Bush: is he a power-crazy nutcase or someone who is finally doing something that has needed to be done for years?
Power-crazy nutcase. Folks, when it comes time to pick your next president, the single person that people outside of this country think of when they think of our government, the man/woman with the power to set agenda, the man/woman who negotiates treaties with foreign heads of state, remember, you don't want some stupid monkey-faced power-mad lunatic in that position.
21(a). Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
Grazelda.
21(b). Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
Engelbert.
22. Would you ever consider living abroad?
Canada, definitely. I don't see myself fitting in in Europe.
